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How to stay with No

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No one likes hearing an unpopular "No" and few can resist negotiating back. Here are five hints on how to say your no in a way that it is heard, respected and does not risk your relationships.

Hint no.1: Use a neutral no

Saying and staying with "no" requires defusing both sides' emotions: our discomfort at staying with negative answer and our counterpart's irritation or disappointment at hearing it. Use a steady, uninfected and clear tone to calm the emotions and concentrate on the business end of no.

Hint no.2: Be consistent

Have a consistent and strong argument at the ready. Throwing different arguments when explaining why you are saying no will only confuse both you and your counterpart.

Hint no.3: Explain the real reason

If you hold back from explaining the real reason you are saying no, your counterpart will find it easy to swat away your light weighed arguments. Give reasons with good weight up front to limit the frustration on both sides.

Hint no.4: Do not give false hope

Staying with no hesitantly, or with a show of reluctance will only encourage your counterpart to keep pushing. Be firm with your no and it will make it easier for your counterpart to accept it.

Hint no.5: Know your triggers

Your counterpart may try out different tactics to get you to yes your no. Clarify for yourself where your vulnerabilities lie and it will help you to resist your counterpart's attempts to make you change your mind.

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