How to stay with No
No one likes hearing an unpopular "No" and few can resist
negotiating back. Here are five hints on how to say your no in a way
that it is heard, respected and does not risk your relationships.
Hint no.1: Use a neutral no
Saying and staying with "no" requires defusing both
sides' emotions: our discomfort at staying with negative answer and our
counterpart's irritation or disappointment at hearing it. Use a steady,
uninfected and clear tone to calm the emotions and concentrate on the
business end of no.
Hint no.2: Be consistent
Have a consistent and strong argument at the ready.
Throwing different arguments when explaining why you are saying no will
only confuse both you and your counterpart.
Hint no.3: Explain the real reason
If you hold back from explaining the real
reason you are saying no, your counterpart will find it easy to swat
away your light weighed arguments. Give reasons with good weight up
front to limit the frustration on both sides.
Hint no.4: Do not give false hope
Staying with no hesitantly, or with a show of
reluctance will only encourage your counterpart to keep pushing. Be firm
with your no and it will make it easier for your counterpart to accept
Hint no.5: Know your triggers
Your counterpart may try out different tactics to
get you to yes your no. Clarify for yourself where your vulnerabilities
lie and it will help you to resist your counterpart's attempts to make
you change your mind.